Well, it's been a while since I've posted, but I have been steadfast on my search towards balance and a Higher Self, and I've discovered a few tools along the way that I'd like to share...
1) Supplements and Bio-identical hormones WORK!
To those of you out there that have heard me "poo poo" supplements, I am here to humbly beg forgiveness.
Yes, supplements are a multi-BILLION dollar industry, and many of them are not rigorously tested or regulated. But some are. And who cares, because if you do your due diligence, many of them work!!!! I saw a local well-respected naturopathic doctor, who gave me supplements (many of them, warning: quite expensive and out of pocket). She also gave me the MINIMUM dose of bioidentical hormones (please note: many well-respected organizations, ie. the Mayo Clinic, say that the verdict is out whether bioidentical hormones are any safer than traditional prescription hormones... so I hope I don't get cancer).
Oh, and get this: after blood work, I found out I am severely anemic. This leads to major fatigue. Is that what I get for trying to be a good human being and not eating meat for 35 years?
But the overall result of taking all of these supplements/hormones? I am MUCH more even-keeled, no panic attacks, anxiety manageable, and I have some energy again that makes me actually want to DO things to seek better balance in my life. Am I a "perfect" human being without EVER feeling some emotions? NO. But I wouldn't want it that way. Having enough of my personal "crazy" in the mix is what helps push me towards change and spiritual growth. A perfect balance for ME.
2) Which brings me to Transcendental Meditation(TM)... I actually had the energy to try something new. There is TONS of research over the years on the benefits of TM, and if you're willing to pay a tidy sum for their course (I was... note desperation), they have several one-on-one and group meeting that actually help you develop a regular practice at home!! The Holy Grail, really. I have felt some major shifts in my life already from just practicing 20 minutes twice a day. See their website for more info:
Like many of you out there, I am a work in progress. But I am SOOO happy I am finding more of a balance. Now that I have the ENERGY to make changes, I can't wait to see what happens next :)